Other Places Might Have Tall Buildings And People But Do They Have The World's Largest Pork Burger? I Didn't Fucking Think So

 DES MOINES, Iowa —Iowans are cooking up the world’s largest pork burger Thursday at the World Pork Expo. The annual event is being held at the Iowa State Fairgrounds. Officials said the pork burger and bun are 345 pounds.  The big burger is being cooked in a special pan for about eight hours until about 5 p.m. The big burger will be donated to Youth Emergency Services & Shelter.  Samples are being served to visitors at the expo.

Look at that thing!  That bad boy weighs 345 pounds.  345 pounds of pure bliss.  I watched a video of them hauling that thing out of the giant oven they cooked it in and you would’ve thought Brad and Angelina were walking down the streets of Des Moines with the number of people who were following it and pulling out their camera phones to get a picture of it.  Pork burger paparazzi is a real thing. That burger might be the biggest celebrity in the whole state.  And sure, there’s celebrities around here like Ashton and Mila who draw a lot of attention when they come back but I’m not even sure their level of local fame rivals that of the 345 pound pork burger that was unveiled yesterday (at the annual World Pork Expo because yes we have one of those).  Like I’m honestly not sure what gets you laid faster here in the state of Iowa.  If the guy who made this burger and Ashton went to a bar in Iowa and one was throwing around the pick up line “I was in the movie What Happens In Vegas” and the other one was saying “I cooked the world’s largest pork burger” I’m pretty sure pork burger guy closes the deal and is going heels to Jesus before Ashton even buys a girl her second drink.

picture from @ChrisClaytonDTN